A practical guide to understanding curly hair, what it actually needs, which advice matters, and how to care for it without making everything so complicated.
I’m happy you’re here and not at some other random place on the internet looking for curly hair information that may be more confusing than it is helpful.
And if you’re just meeting me, I’m Carmen Conway, a Beauty Founder with a focus on curly hair educator. I transitioned from providing hair care services to educating women and families in 19 countries on hair care after working with thousands of clients over close to two decades. I’m also the author of the forthcoming The Truth About Natural Hair.
If you’re here, that means you or someone you love may have curly hair. This can be someone with tight, coarse curls like mine, more loose, medium, silky curls like my children’s, or the complete opposite, with completely loose waves.
I’ve worked as a curl educator and specialist for over 10 years and created this exhaustive post to help answer some frequently asked questions and simplify hair care, specifically curly hair care.
After doing hair personally and professionally over the past few decades, one thing I’ve learned is that we’re all more alike than we are unlike. The challenges we have with our hair care are pretty much the same, and how we see ourselves when we look in the mirror reveals that regardless of your ZIP Code, skin color, or hair type, clarity is care.
Curly hair doesn’t need to be as complicated as the internet has made it. People with curly hair existed before the internet, and so did caring for it.
It’s important to understand the actual hair on your head instead of following endless curly hair rules because knowledge is power. When you learn how to care for your hair properly, the only thing that will change will be the products you choose to use.
This means knowing what the hair needs, when it needs it, how much it needs, and why it needs it. It’s such a powerful approach to having a repeatable process and regimen.
How often should curly hair be washed?
Curly hair needs to be cleansed regularly. I generally recommend cleansing at least weekly, roughly every 4–7 days, although your routine may vary depending on your hair, lifestyle, styling habits, and how quickly buildup develops.
One of the biggest misconceptions about curly hair is that washing it frequently will automatically dry it out. In reality, going too long without cleansing can allow product, oil, sweat, and debris to accumulate on the hair and scalp. That buildup can actually interfere with your ability to properly hydrate and style your hair.
A good shampoo should effectively cleanse without leaving your hair feeling unnecessarily stripped.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t address something that I see quite often on the internet: content creators who share videos of themselves washing their children’s hair. The way the hair is washed really matters and determines how simple the detangling and setting process will be.
Keep in mind that curly hair is already curly, so getting it to an easier point for detangling and handling should involve sectioning the hair and handling it in a way that keeps it stretched while cleansing, conditioning, and detangling.
Visual learner? Meet me inside the Home Hair Care Academy to watch how it’s done and submit your way of doing it for help with practice.
Shampoo
It’s no surprise that the hair product aisle in any store that sells cosmetics can be overwhelming. One of my most purchased digital resources to this day is my Hair Product Guide, which breaks down what the different products are and some of my favorites that I’ve used and tested over the years, including those that I’ve used that weren’t so great but could still be effective if used strategically.
So I’ll start with the most important product for cleansing the hair: shampoo.
There’s a range of shampoos that can be very cleansing versus very moisturizing. I’m going to focus on the most important one, which is the one you should be using regularly.
For a consistent home-care routine, a gentle, everyday-use shampoo is important because you’re regularly applying conditioners, leave-ins, stylers, oils, and other products. Eventually, those things need to be removed.
If your hair constantly feels coated, dull, heavy, difficult to wet, or isn’t responding to products the way it normally does, cleansing is one of the first things I’d look at.
A gentle shampoo is one you can use any day of the week, whether you wash weekly or two times a week.
For product recommendations, check out the shampoos I sell in my online store here or download your copy of the Hair Product Guide.
How do I know when my hair actually needs moisture?
First, it’s important to understand that moisture is water and sealant.
Adding more and more product to dry hair doesn’t necessarily make it more moisturized. Sometimes you’re simply layering product onto hair that needs to be cleansed and hydrated again.
Your curls should feel soft and flexible and have movement when wet. Properly hydrated curls tend to clump more easily and look smooth and more defined.
And more moisture isn’t always better. Deep conditioning every single wash isn’t automatically necessary. Too much can leave some curls overly soft or limp. Deep condition when your hair needs it rather than because curly hair rules say you always have to.
Some of the more common times you need to deep condition versus regular condition are if you have chronically dehydrated hair that needs a moisture balance, hair that is chemically treated and needs some protein, or hair that is suffering from mechanical damage by way of styling or handling and needs some additional strength.
Beyond that, using a regular rinse-out conditioner after using a regular shampoo is great for weekly hair care.
Conditioner and detangling
After cleansing, apply conditioner generously through the lengths of the hair rather than directly to the scalp. Work in sections and smooth the conditioner through with water until the hair feels soft and slippery.
This is also when I prefer to detangle.
Work in small sections, beginning at the ends and gradually working toward the roots with a flexible detangling brush. Don’t attack a knot from the root and drag it through the entire length of the hair.
Gentle, thorough detangling is an important part of length retention. Curly hair isn’t growing more slowly than straight hair. It can simply be more susceptible to tangling and breakage, which affects how much of that growth you retain.
Note that the type of detangling tool you use really matters. Thankfully, or maybe not so thankfully, there’s an overwhelming number of detangling brushes on the market for curly hair.
Just make sure you’re using a detangling brush and not a different type of brush, like a styling brush. You can check out the detangling brush I sell in my store here. You can also find other options inside the digital Hair Product Guide.
If you need to actually see the technique or want help practicing what you’re doing at home, you can do that inside the Practice Room in the Home Hair Care Academy.
How much product should I use?
More product does not equal more moisture.
The amount you need depends on your hair’s density, length, the product itself, and how you’re styling it. What matters more is even distribution.
Your hair should be thoroughly saturated with water before styling. Then distribute your products through sections by raking, smoothing, or brushing them through.
This means if you or your child has silky or looser curls that are more fine, you can use a smaller amount of styling product on wet hair. If you have tight, coarse, and especially dense curls like mine, you will need to use a substantially decent amount to get the hair to collapse and gain the proper, even distribution.
What order should I do everything in?
Your basic sequence is:
Water → Shampoo → Conditioner → Leave-in → Styler
Style on soaking-wet hair and distribute your products evenly.
The specific styler will depend on what you’re trying to accomplish, but the foundation remains hydration first, followed by products that help you maintain the result.
Now, if you’re wondering how to determine the layering method for your styling products, my general rule of thumb is always going to be to use leave-in conditioner first if you’re using a synthetic product, just to add a protective barrier between the hair and that product.
If you’re layering multiple gels or mousses to create a stronger cast around the curl, you should use the styling product that’s going to do most of the work. So if you’re looking for a firm hold, you want to use the product that’s going to be heavier on top. If you’re looking for a lighter hold, then you’re going to use the product that’s going to be lighter on top.
Gels are typically heavier, so putting that first is going to help you get a collapse and a stronger hold. The same goes for mousse. Applying that first is going to give you a softer finish, so put that first if that’s what you’re looking for.
Just make sure you’re layering with intention and not turning your hair care into a science project.
Why did my products “stop working”?
Before assuming you need an entirely new collection of products, cleanse your hair.
Product buildup can change how your hair feels, how easily it absorbs water, and how subsequent products perform. Continually layering products without properly cleansing can eventually make even products you love seem ineffective.
This is also why I’m not a fan of treating every hair problem as a shopping problem.
Sometimes you don’t need another product. You need a better process.
Are wash-and-gos bad for curly hair?
No. Wash-and-gos are not inherently damaging.
Problems are more likely to develop when a wash-and-go is left until the hair becomes excessively dry or tangled, when it’s refreshed endlessly instead of being properly washed again, when product buildup accumulates, or when tangled hair is rushed through during the next wash.
A wash-and-go can absolutely remain part of a healthy styling rotation when you’re maintaining the hair underneath the style.
And if you don’t know what a wash-and-go is, it’s simply a style you do after washing your hair, which is to wear your curls out, as my daughter calls it.
Are twists and protective styles better?
Protective styling isn’t automatically protective simply because of the name.
I’ve seen some of the worst curly hair damage on clients who wore protective styles. The larger goal is low manipulation and healthy hair underneath the style. A style that creates excessive tension, is neglected for too long, or makes proper care difficult isn’t serving the hair simply because we’ve labeled it “protective.”
These styles are best referred to as alternative hairstyles. Whether or not you wear extensions, just keep in mind that true hair protection is one that allows you to prioritize hydration, cleansing, and moisture.
What’s the best way to dry curly hair?
After styling, you can air-dry, diffuse, or use a hooded dryer.
Whichever method you choose, one of the biggest things is to leave the hair alone while it’s drying. Constantly touching and manipulating wet curls can disrupt the curl clumps you’re trying to create and contribute to frizz.
This is why diffusing or hooded drying is my personal and professional favorite. It allows the hair to dry much more quickly while creating a firmer cast around the curls that will last longer.
And remember: frizz is a symptom, not a hair type.
What should I do with curly hair at night?
The goal at night is to reduce unnecessary friction, tension, and manipulation.
Use a satin or silk bonnet or pillowcase and keep the hair in a loose, low-tension position rather than tightly securing it every night.
Nighttime care isn’t about perfectly preserving your style indefinitely. Eventually, your hair needs to be washed and reset.
Should I refresh my curls between washes?
You can, but refreshing shouldn’t become an attempt to avoid washing indefinitely.
If your hair requires more and more water and product every morning to make the style work again, eventually you’re layering product onto product. At some point, the better “refresh” is simply washing your hair again.
Breakage vs. shedding
Breakage usually happens any place from the root to the ends of the hair and is often caused by mechanical damage and weak strands.
Breakage often looks like hair with a split end. There could be a knot, a hair that splits in half or thirds, or hair that gets very fine in diameter. Breakage is usually isolated to a single or tiny number of strands at once.
Shed hair is usually consistent from root to end and is part of the hair’s natural growth and shedding cycle. Hair moves through different phases, including anagen, catagen, and telogen, before eventually shedding.
Shed hair is commonly seen while detangling, especially with curly hair because strands that have naturally shed can remain caught within the curls until they are physically removed during washing and detangling.
It’s also important to remember that what’s happening inside the body can affect the hair cycle and how much hair you shed. Changes such as childbirth, medications, medical procedures, and other changes within the body can sometimes result in noticeable changes in shedding.
This is different from breakage, which is the hair strand physically breaking somewhere along its length.
At that point, shedding stops being something I would address as a hairstylist and becomes something I recommend discussing with a medical professional.
How often should curly hair be trimmed?
I’ve generally taught light trims around every 8–12 weeks or as needed. The “as needed” is always going to be subjective and a matter of personal preference.
I get my ends trimmed about once every four months. I trim my children’s hair once every 6–9 months. Sometimes more often, sometimes less often.
Length isn’t just about growth. It’s about retention.
Hair grows approximately half an inch per month on average, but curly hair coils, tangles, and can break more easily. Consistent moisture, gentle detangling, low manipulation, and regular trims help you actually retain the length you’re growing.
Does porosity matter?
Yes and no.
For consumers caring for their hair at home without using any hair-altering chemicals, washing weekly eliminates the need to worry about porosity. Porosity determines how quickly and how well hair holds onto substances. Because of this, and depending on what types of products you have present on the hair, it can temporarily change from day to day.
You can tell a hair’s porosity by allowing it to run under water. Depending on how long it takes to get fully saturated determines the level. If the hair has heavy buildup or is chronically dehydrated, the porosity will be inaccurate. Using the proper shampoo and conditioner to balance the hair and cleansing the scalp consistently each week will reveal true porosity.
If you are getting any hair-altering chemical service like color, perms, relaxers, or texturizers, porosity matters. It determines how quickly the chemical will process.
How important is curl pattern?
Much less important than the internet has made it.
Knowing whether someone calls your hair 3C, 4A, or 4C doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about caring for it. It does not help you understand the hair on your head.
Curl pattern is more cosmetic than functional, similar to your complexion or eye color. Your complexion doesn’t tell you what your skin elements or orientation is: oily, dry, or combination, which would suggest what type of cleansers and moisturizers you should use.
The same is true with your eyes. You could have light brown or dark brown eyes, but astigmatism in one eye or weak eyesight requiring medicated glasses or contacts.
This is the equivalent of hair typing. It suggests how the hair looks, not how it behaves.
Understanding more important elements like texture, surface texture, density, porosity, and diameter matters more.
Is it smooth or bumpy?
Is it shiny, spongy, or matte?
Are there a lot of strands or a few strands?
How is the overall hydration and moisture level?
Are the curls tight, loose, or wavy?
What about children’s curly hair?
Children’s hair still needs a consistent care rhythm: cleansing, conditioning, gentle detangling, hydration, and styling.
But with children, the experience of being cared for matters too.
Hair care doesn’t need to become something a child learns to dread. Work in manageable sections, use adequate conditioner and slip, detangle gently, and create a routine that can be repeated consistently.
The goal isn’t simply to finish their hair.
It’s to care for their hair without making care itself traumatic.
What about a tender-headed child?
Don’t assume pain is simply something a curly-haired child needs to learn to tolerate.
Condition the hair well, work in small sections, begin detangling at the ends, gradually work toward the roots, and use tools that move through the hair without unnecessarily pulling against it.
And slow down.
Your child’s reaction is information. If something hurts, change what you’re doing rather than making finishing the hairstyle more important than how they’re experiencing it.
After years of providing one-to-one, in-person and virtual consultations and trainings on the various ways to do hair and do so properly, I decided to create the Practice Rooms inside of my Home Hair Care Academy. Individuals and families can post videos of themselves doing their little one’s or their own hair at home, and my staff and I can provide feedback on ways to improve, change, or even just encourage them because they’re doing better than they think.
Parents sometimes need help seeing how their technique can change.
Why does my child’s hair seem to be changing?
It is common for people with curly hair to start out with hair that is straight and silky and eventually curls within the first year or two.
This is the first of quite a few times that the hair changes throughout a lifespan. Regardless of how the hair characteristics change, the routine can be relatively the same: washing about once a week, using the best type of shampoo for regular use, conditioner that will moisturize the hair without weighing it down, and styling products that are best for the curl characteristics.
When should I see a professional?
Home hair care should empower you to confidently maintain your own or your child’s hair. But sometimes you need another set of trained eyes.
A professional can be especially valuable when you’re struggling to establish a routine, experiencing persistent tangling or breakage, aren’t sure how much hair needs to be trimmed, can’t get your styling results to last, or simply feel like you’ve tried everything and don’t know why your routine isn’t working.
Need hands-on help? → Book an appointment at Sani Auri Studio
What products and tools do I actually need?
Shampoo
Having a good-quality daily-use shampoo that can be used any day of the week and is gentle and not stripping is great, as well as a deep-clean shampoo that will remove buildup from the overtime use of hair care products and exposure to the elements.
Conditioner
A good-quality daily-use conditioner that can be used after the gentle shampoo is important, as well as a deep conditioner that may be necessary and followed up after a deep-clean shampoo.
Depending on your style goals and hair elements, you might want to use a leave-in conditioner as well.
Styling products
The styling product you choose will depend on your hair elements. A perfect example is if you or your child has loose, silky curls, you can get away with using lightweight mousses and gels that yield a very soft hold, which won’t weigh down the curls.
If you have tight, coarse curls like I do, you can benefit from heavier-weight styling products that will provide the collapse the hair needs for the right amount of hold.
Tools
Some of my favorite holy grail tools will always be a wide-tooth comb, a detangling brush best for curly hair, a parting comb with a sharp rat tail, a smoothing brush for sleek styles like ponytails and buns, and clips to keep the hair organized throughout the entire cleanse-and-style process.
Drying
Using a hair dryer, whether it’s a handheld dryer with a diffuser attachment or a hard hooded dryer, I recommend drying the hair as quickly as possible to help the hair transition from wet to dry at a much quicker pace than air-drying, especially on hair that is more coarse and dense, as it takes much longer to dry than hair that is more fine or loose.
Nighttime protection
Using a hair scarf, hair tube, or bonnet to protect the curls while sleeping or resting will help prevent the cast from breaking prematurely, yielding more definition, less frizz, and less need to refresh or redo the style.
Rather than trying to put every specific product recommendation into this article, I’ve already compiled the specific products I’ve used and tested inside my Hair Product Guide.
Where do I start if all of this feels overwhelming?
Cleanse → Condition → Detangle → Style → Dry → Protect → Repeat
Don’t try to master everything at once. Establish the routine first. Learn what your own or your child’s hair is showing you. Practice the techniques. Adjust from there.
There is a big difference between information and practice. In this post, I’ve given you extensive curl information. If you need help actually doing it, that’s what I’ve built the Home Hair Care Academy for.
This space is my absolute favorite place on the internet because it combines in-depth tutorials, the Practice Room, and a beautiful, supportive community of women and families around the world. There’s something so incredibly motivating about my trained staff and me showing up to offer live support that directly connects to improving our community’s quality of life.
Explore the Home Hair Care Academy
I’ve been wanting to create this blog post for quite some time, and I’m so happy I finally did because the feeling I have at the end of this is the perfect culmination of the fact that I’ve spent almost two decades working with hair and more than a decade specifically educating people about curls.
My hope is that you’ll walk away from this feeling more prepared, understanding curly hair better, and feeling less confused.
It’s an honor to be on this curly hair journey with you.