The way I care for my children — with unconditional, wholehearted love wrapped in kindness — is the same way I’ve learned to care for myself.

But I didn’t always know how.

And I certainly didn’t learn it easily.

My angel daughter Sania was the one who taught me.

I became a mom at 17. From the very beginning, it was clear Sania’s medical needs were complex. My world shifted overnight. And like many young caregivers, I wrapped my entire identity around her care.

It wasn’t until I slipped into a year-long depression that I realized something was off. I was giving her my all — everything I had — and yet, I was disappearing.

I remember sitting in support groups, listening to other caregivers talk about their burnout. I was the sole parent showing up to appointments, often waiting hours for medical transport to take us just five minutes down the road. I stopped eating processed foods because of her high-fructose intolerance. I adjusted everything — even the way I breathed through the day — so she could feel safe and well.

And still, I hit a wall.

But somewhere in those long, exhausting days, I started asking a different question. Instead of Why me?

I leaned into Now what?

And slowly, I started choosing myself again.

Not in a neglectful or avoidant way — but in a deeply intentional, loving way. I began pouring into myself the same way I poured into her. It felt selfish at first. But each time I did, I became stronger. More grounded. More able to show up with presence, grace, and joy.

I realized:

The only way to love her unconditionally was to love myself that way first.

And that’s how I mother now.

That’s how I live now.

Kindness isn’t just something I give — it’s something I practice. Every single day.

If you take anything from this, let it be this:

Loving yourself first doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you sustainable.

You are worthy of the same care and compassion you give so freely to others.

Whether you’re a parent, a caregiver, or simply someone who’s always been the strong one — I hope this reminds you:

You matter too.

Your body, your boundaries, your beauty, your well-being — they’re not extras. They’re essentials.

And your softness? That’s strength.