I always dreamed of being a mom, but not just any mom – a great mom. I wanted to raise children who loved how I treated them and the life we built together. Kids who knew that respect was a two-way street. Kids who felt safe being themselves around me without fear. 

But once I became a mother, I realized something important—achieving this wasn’t going to be easy. How could I raise children to feel free and loved when I was still struggling to love myself? This realization changed everything.

Healing Myself to Heal My Children

Growing up, I was afraid to be honest about how I felt. I kept my emotions in check because I feared consequences. My hair was one of my biggest struggles. I hated getting it done and, as a result, hated my hair. To give my children the life they deserved, I had to heal the parts of myself that were still hurting. I had to model the kind of self-love I wanted them to see.

I started therapy in my 20s, and that was the turning point. Therapy helped me unpack years of fear and insecurity. One of my first acts of self-kindness was cutting off all my chemically altered hair and embracing my natural beauty. This small but symbolic act of self-love rippled through every aspect of my life.

Transforming Old Habits

Changing habits is tough. It’s easier to stay the same. But I knew that living the life I wanted for my children meant fighting against the urge to slip back into old patterns. Slowly but surely, I began to practice self-care, making decisions that reflected how I wanted to feel—strong, loved, and worthy.

One day, I realized how far I had come. I wasn’t perfect, but I was living a better, more intentional life. And that, in turn, made me a better mom.

Actionable Takeaways for Parents

1. Start with Self-Care: When you’re running on empty, it’s impossible to give your best to your children. Find ways to refill your emotional and physical energy, even if it’s just 10 minutes a day.

2. Model Self-Love: Let your children see you practicing kindness toward yourself. They’ll learn by example, and you’ll be teaching them the importance of self-respect.

3. Celebrate Progress: Remember, small steps matter. Don’t wait for perfection. Celebrate your growth and show your children that progress is worth celebrating too.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If my journey resonates with you, there’s so much more to explore. My Parenting with Kindness guide dives deeper into these strategies and more, helping you nurture yourself and your children with empathy and love. Click here to get the full version.