One of the ways I practice intentional parenting is by listening to my children.

I was raised to shrink and silence myself.
So I’m raising my children to know their voice matters too.

When I asked my daughter how she wanted to celebrate her birthday this year, she told me she didn’t want a party.

I was taken aback.

Because the tradition is usually a party.
The details might change, but the gathering, the gifts, the singing, it’s expected.

But if I made her celebrate that way, it wouldn’t be her way.
It would be mine.
The traditional way.
The expected way.

And that’s what the little girl in me learned—
to do what was expected, not what was preferred.

So I had to rethink what celebrating her could look like…without the tradition.

She chose a poppin’ and joppin’ birthday week—a phrase she came up with that means pretty and fabulous.

She wants to travel the world.

Another part of intentional parenting is not forcing tradition.

It’s been months since I first asked her how she wanted to celebrate—and months of me coming to terms with what that really meant.

Why do we force ourselves and our children to continue things that no longer serve us?

This is a lesson I learned years ago in other areas of my life—friendships, relationships, expectations.

Letting her choose now teaches her something early:

She doesn’t have to commit to something just because it makes others happy.
Because it’s expected.
Because it’s the norm.

And most importantly, I focus on creating experiences over expectations.

As someone who tries to stay present, I’ve learned the power of exposure—how it can open your world up.

I also know that expectations can keep us small.

So when given the choice, why not choose what expands you?

And maybe that’s what intentional parenting really is—creating space for our children to become who they already are.