Someone sent me a question that stopped me in my tracks:
“Any advice on combating texturism for re-emerging naturals? I feel out of touch.”

In just a few words, they named something so many of us have felt but often struggle to say out loud. And instantly, I was back in that place, remembering my own first steps toward embracing my natural hair, and the countless women I’ve guided through the same vulnerable, courageous journey.

I’ve seen it all from both sides of the chair: the woman staring in the mirror, unsure if she likes what’s looking back, and the stylist gently washing away doubt with each rinse, encouraging her through awkward grow-outs, hesitant trims, and the brave act of falling in love with her texture again.

And here’s the truth: Texturism isn’t just about hair. It’s about identity. It’s about the messages we’ve absorbed about worthiness and beauty, often without realizing it.

The Toxic Fog of Texturism

Texturism thrives in comparison. It feeds on the belief that one curl pattern, coil size, or level of “manageability” is better than another.

It’s a toxic fog. And if you’re not deeply rooted in self-worth, the judgment, both spoken and silently anticipated, can wear you down.

This isn’t just about what happens in the mirror or online. It’s in the places we live, work, and play. The microaggressions are real:

The coworker who “compliments” you by saying your hair looks so much better “like that.”

The relative who insists you’d look “more professional” if you straightened it.

The strangers who reach for your curls without permission, as if your hair is public property.

These little cuts add up. They reinforce the idea that our beauty is conditional, negotiable, or something to be tamed.

The Phases of Returning to Natural

After years of training and styling, I’ve seen a pattern in how people reconnect with their natural hair. The phases usually look something like this:

• Deciding – You make the choice to return to your natural texture.
• Hesitating – You question yourself, often comparing your hair to others.
• Accepting – You start to see your texture as part of you, not a problem to solve.
• Liking – You notice the beauty and versatility, and it outweighs the discomfort.
• Loving – You embrace your hair fully, without comparison or apology.

Each phase is valid. And each one takes its own time.

Not sure where to start with your curls? My free Curl Quiz takes the guesswork out—find out your curl type and how to care for it in minutes. Take the quiz now.

My Best Advice: Protect Your Energy

Step away from the noise. Social media can be both a teacher and a trap. Too many opinions can drown out your own voice.

Work with a professional. Learning the correct techniques and care for your hair early on can save you so much headache and heartache. It builds comfort and confidence, and helps you avoid the frustration that comes from trial-and-error overload.

Allow yourself to feel it all. This is not just about hair. It’s about unlearning years of conditioning and re-learning how to be at home with yourself. That process will bring up emotions, honor them, don’t rush them.

To You, and to Me

To my clients and academy members, past and present—thank you for trusting me to guide you through this journey.

To the younger me—thank you for holding on, even when you didn’t yet know how to love what was yours all along.

To the person reading this (if you have curly hair of course)—your texture is not a problem to solve. Your curls are not a flaw to fix. They are an extension of you: your history, your resilience, your beauty.

Stay the course. You’ll find your way from deciding, to hesitating, to accepting, to liking, and eventually… to loving.

To You, To Me, To Us

I’m writing this while the question is still fresh—because it’s more than a question. It’s a mirror.

It reminded me of the girl I used to be, unsure about what was naturally hers. It reminded me of the clients who sat in my chair with that same mix of hope, hesitation, and vulnerability.

So to you—who asked an hour ago—thank you. Your words pulled me into this space where I can say, with all my heart:

Your texture is worthy. Your hair is not a project to perfect—it’s a relationship to nurture.

To my clients and academy members—thank you for trusting me with your crown and your confidence.

To myself—thank you for learning to love what God gave you, even when the world told you to change it.

And to anyone navigating this journey: you’re not behind, you’re not out of touch, and you’re not alone. Every phase matters. Every strand matters. You matter.

Love your texture. Learn your texture.
Start with the Curl Quiz.