I’ve been thinking about something many of my internet family said—how hearing me tell Maddie, “You’re not responsible for Mommy feelings,” touched something deep inside you.

First, I just want to say: I see you. I feel you. And I wish I could sit across from you right now, hold your hand, and tell you this directly: You were never supposed to carry that weight.

When I said those words to Maddie, I meant them with every fiber of my being. She’s four. She’s full of life, energy, and joy. She deserves to grow up knowing that her only job is to be her beautiful, messy, curious self. My feelings? They’re mine to handle—not hers.

I don’t want her to look at me and think, “Is Mommy okay? Did I do something wrong? What can I do to fix this?” Because I know how heavy that weight is. I carried it too.

Growing up, I didn’t hear words like this. My parents didn’t say them—not because they didn’t care, but because they didn’t know how. They were doing the best they could with what they had, and I know now that they were victims of their time, carrying their own unspoken pain.

But that didn’t stop me from internalizing their struggles, their emotions, their silences. Somewhere along the way, I believed it was my job to make things better, to be what they needed. I thought that’s what love looked like.

But it wasn’t my job then, and it’s not yours now.

You deserve to let go of that burden.

I know how hard it can be to unlearn something that feels so deeply rooted. But I want you to hear this, really hear it: You are not responsible for anyone else’s feelings. Not your parents’, not your partner’s, not your friends’.

You are allowed to feel free. You are allowed to love without fixing. You are allowed to just be.

If I could go back and tell my younger self anything, it would be this:
“You’re enough, just as you are. You don’t have to be anyone’s savior or solution. You are loved, not because of what you do for others, but simply because of who you are.”

And I want to say that to you too.

You may not have heard these words growing up. Maybe no one told you that it wasn’t your job to hold everyone together. Maybe no one showed you the kind of love that feels light, safe, and freeing. But that love is still for you.

It’s here, now. It’s in the way you’re learning to treat yourself with care, the way you’re giving yourself permission to rest, to let go, to grow.

So, if you needed this reminder today: You’re not responsible for anyone else’s feelings. You were never meant to carry that weight. You are worthy of love, simply because you exist.

I’m so glad you’re here, and I’m so proud of the person you are becoming.