Hey y’all! Carmen here, sharing a very intimate part of myself as a result of recently having received the absolute sweetest private message from a woman thanking me for sharing my story via my Brown Skin Women blog (on the websites about page here).
This munchkin is my 14 year old little big lady Miss Sania. She is severely disabled. As of late we having been battling an emotionally taxing, shocking and life changing development of a mysterious aging disease, which shed light on an original diagnosis that was completely inaccurate.
To be 100% transparent, she could once walk, talk, feed and groom herself. She no longer can. Her care is 100% dependent on someone other than herself. To help this sink in a little deeper, my life as Sania’s mom is equivalent to providing attention and care to a 6 month old, or perhaps a sickly near 100 year old adult.
It. Is. Hard…but she is the greatest gift God could have given me.
Forced sole mommy-hood and all.
I have so much more to be thankful for.
Like…an amazingly supportive circle of family and close friends, a fond and growing heart, the ability to hug and kiss my munchkin every single day, having grown into the woman I know, love and trust, having a life long desire to be of service to others, and having the softest spot down to my core for special needs families (which is the very reason I created this non profit organization years ago).
Yes, sometimes it is hard to witness and a difficult reality to believe is my own. Sometimes I do struggle with how hard it gets. It’s difficult to watch someone you love lose what impacts their quality of life (and your very own). But then you’re reminded that struggle is a gift. And love and prioritizing self care is the road to transformation.
So to emphasize self care. Being sole mom to Sania has taught me to hit the reset button. Often. Take time for myself. LIVE. Have too much fun. Laugh too much. Drink wine. Ecotherapy (time in nature). Yoga & meditation. Therapy with a culturally aware therapist. Binge watching hilarious and adorable YouTube videos.
Then go back to my reality. Renewed. Refreshed. Reset. Happy. Because my cup once again runneth over.
Miss Sania inspires me. To give, to love, to be patient, to be understanding, to worry about nothing, to love everything, to smile even when it hurts, to be gentle, to be sensitive, to take care of myself, to live a healthy lifestyle.
I embody these qualities because of my journey with her. I share all of these qualities with you because of a blessed life with her.
And I wouldn’t change my reality even if I could.
Thank y’all for rocking, rolling, natural living, self loving with me. For believing in and supporting me. This journey that I am blessed to call my life would not be as bitter sweet without you 💜.
Big kisses and bear hugs,